Ninny Momma

A Light-Hearted History of Coffee

Long ago in the hills of Ethiopia, a goat herder named Kaldi noticed his goats dancing after eating red berries. Curious, he tried some himself — and before long, the world had its first all-nighter. Word spread to monks, who found that the berries kept them awake during long prayers.

By the 15th century, coffee had brewed its way into Yemen, where Sufi mystics sipped it to stay alert for midnight devotions. From there, the drink spread across the Middle East, with the first coffee houses — qahveh khaneh — buzzing in Persia, Egypt, and Turkey.

When coffee hit Europe in the 1600s, some called it the “bitter invention of Satan.” But once Pope Clement VIII tasted it, he blessed it, declaring that anything so delicious must be from heaven. Coffee houses soon popped up in London, Paris, and Vienna, becoming places for debate, trade, and gossip — they were nicknamed “penny universities” because for the price of a cup you could learn as much as in a lecture hall.

By the 18th century, colonial powers planted coffee in the Caribbean, South America, and Asia. Brazil eventually became the giant of the coffee world, producing beans by the boatload. Fast forward to today, and coffee is a daily ritual, from Italian espresso bars to American drive-thrus, from Turkish cezve pots to whipped Dalgona trends on TikTok.

And to think — it all started with some hyper goats.

Fun Coffee Facts — with Ninny Momma’s Two Cents

• Coffee is the second most traded commodity in the world (after crude oil).
  NM: I drink more coffee than crude oil.
• The word “coffee” comes from the Arabic qahwa.
  NM: Fancy word for my morning hug in a mug.
• Espresso doesn’t mean “extra strong” — it means “pressed out” in Italian.
  NM: Pressed out, perked up, passed around — that’s espresso life.
• The world’s most expensive coffee, Kopi Luwak, is made from beans digested by civet cats.
  NM: Yuck.
• Finland drinks more coffee per person than any other country.
  NM: Let’s go America, we have to catch up!
• Instant coffee was invented in 1901 by a Japanese chemist, Satori Kato.
  NM: I love Japan.
• Beethoven was a coffee fanatic who insisted on exactly 60 beans per cup.
  NM: Sixty beans? Honey, I don’t count beans — I count cups.
• Decaf coffee still has a little caffeine — usually 2–5 mg per cup.
  NM: That’s like a hug without a squeeze. Why bother?
• Coffee was banned in Mecca in the 1500s for fear it encouraged radical thinking.
  NM: I do my best thinking with a coffee.
• In Turkey, refusing your spouse coffee was once legal grounds for divorce.
  NM: Don’t let my husband see this!
• New Yorkers drink about 7 times more coffee than the average American.
  NM: Well, they’ve got to keep up with those taxis somehow.
• A coffee bean is actually the seed inside a fruit called a coffee cherry.
  NM: Yum! I want cherry flavored coffee!